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Wizzza, drow wiz from Dragon Renaissance Tardhood (seriously, are you all fucking idiots? I’ve never run with one that was even average, they are single cell fucking organisms with keyboards and internet access). Running Cursed Crypt on lowbies/TR’s with Grace and Oakplantus. If we had one plat for each time the words, “Don’t kill the Silver Flame guys,” were uttered, we would have enough $ to satisfy every character on the server through 8 TR’s.
We get into the first hallway, open a door. Wizza throws a firewall without even checking what’s inside. We tell him not to use AOE spells because we will fail if we kill 5 Silver Flame guys. He responds in party chat, “So no firewall?” Okay, fine, at least half a synapse fired to partially understand what we were saying. We tell him that’s correct, no firewall please. Open doors, get rest of the Silver Flame dudes stoned. Notice that there is a skeleton happily chipping away at said stoned dudes. Oh, it’s Wizzza’s summon! We tell (read: scream) him to go far away and summon a new skellie to get this one to go away. He replies, “I don’t know how,” then runs into the nearest room and summons a new skeleton. I tell him to face fucking corner that is furthest away from the door and think about what he’s done. Thankfully he complies.
The rest of us continue on and get to a shrine. Wizzza keeps asking if he can come out. We repeatedly tell (scream) that he has to stay in there for the 10 minutes until his summon disappears. We arrive at a shrine and Wizzza dies. Oak says, “How do you manage to die in a room by yourself?” when we realize that the skeleton left the room and got agro of the now unstoned Silver Flame guys. Wizzza’s dead, but his skellie is avenging his death. Somehow the SF guys kill the skellie without dying, awesome. Wizzza says, “If you come rez me, I can help you guys!”
We make our way back to the hallway and tell Wizzza to come to us for a rez so that we don’t agro SF guys. No answer. We wait a couple minutes just fucking around with no response and just leave. We get to a next fight and Wizzza says, “Are you guys gonna rez me?” We explain that we came back to get him and he was obviously afk. He said, “It must have been lag.” It was at that point that Grace starts to lose it and says, “VOICE CHAT DOESN’T FUCKING LAG WE CALLED FOR YOU FOR TWO MINUTES THAT’S NOT LAG(#&$)@#(&$_)&#$@#*)&$)(!!!!!!” I tell him that he’s in the perfect guild for these shenanigans. We get ready to go beat on the second projection and grab Wizzza on the way and rez. We tell him that there will be Silver Flame in the room, so no AOE’s, no firewall, no summons, just beat on the red named guy without hurting anything else. Grace tells him it’s a good idea to just stick to web and cc spells if he’s unsure. Go into the room and Wizzza starts throwing every ray spell and fireball he can get his hands on. Then throws a firewall. I stroke out at this point and start screaming into my mic at him that what part of don’t use fucking AOE’s was confusing?! In the meantime, 3 SF die in a blaze of firey glory. He blames is awesome spell choices on lag and misclicks.
Wizzza types, “fuck, I’ve never done this before, I didn’t know.” Grace calmly explains that you should always ask before summoning, particularly in a quest that you’ve never run before and it’s a good idea to let a party leader know when you’re new to a quest. I just scream, “THEN FUCKING SAY THAT IN THE FUCKING BEGINNING YOU FUCKING BRAINDEAD ASSFUCK SO THAT WE CAN PREVENT ANY INCOMING TARDOUTS!” or something to that effect. I was having trouble breathing and my right arm was throbbing. I also re-typed all the jokes I had told during the run to the party in case they were laughing too hard to hear me the first time. Wizzza ended up dying in the spinny trap up the center ramp and we end up failing due to RUNNING OUT OF FUCKING TIME after babysitting him the entire time. Why you hate Gawna, Wizzza?
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Top 5 players you would never run with. (Read 931292 times)
