Ok i was just posting  the usual rubbish about Turbine being dumb and the idea of a little competition sprang to mind.

Who can come up with the funniest answer to the following question.

I'll give 1LRDS to the funniest answer. Will have to be Khyber only cos i live their. But feel free to Post anyway

Q. How many Turbine Employees does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A team of 5, but it will take them four months and when first installed will cause the vacuum to catch on fire.  Four months later they will solve the vacuum fires and the bulb will burn at 2500 lumen and have no noticeable energy usage.  Four months after that after complaints from power companies that they are no longer required the bulb will be changed so it only produces 1000 lumen, requires more electricity than a refrigerator, can only be turned on 5 times per day, and only stays lit for 15 seconds.

5 devs design the process.

QA looks at it and deletes half of the lights in the office, and causes the other half to shine so brightly, all employees are now tanned.

An intern codes it and now monk handwraps shine.

Thelanis crashes.

14 months later it makes the known issues list.

Shade has a stroke because he can't make a thread about how Barbarians should be the only class allowed to put in lightbulbs.

Gordon9999 makes a thread about overpowered lightbulbs.

Astraghal makes a thread about not being able to solo lightbulbs.

Lightbulbs are nerfed, but LED lights are improved so much, everyone now carries a LED flashlight.

So no exact number, but I would say pretty much everyone employed by Turbine would touch the lightbulb.

rest wrote on Feb 9^th, 2012 at 12:16pm:



Didn't Dan Quayle teach you anything, Rest?

After hearing about the broken lightbulb, Fernando waited through 5 weeks of customer complaints and then made the following post on the DDO forums.

Originally Posted by Fernando 
Hi everyone!

I am very excited today to share the news of DDO's first ever premium expansion 'Menace of the Dark' which will be releasing to our players in just a few months during Summer 2012!

This will be the biggest release we've ever done for DDO and it is loaded with many long-time top player requested features including an increase in the level cap into Epic levels to a new cap of 25, the introduction of the Maintenance Worker class, and our first-ever adventures set in the Forgotten Realms setting!

Please check out our new 'Menace of the Dark' web site to find out more.

We will plan to add more information and assets to the site over the next few months and also roll out some forums discussion threads and dev diaries to let you get a peek at some of our plans.

That is just the beginning of lots of good things coming to DDO in 2012! I hope you are as excited as we are for what we expect to be DDO's best year yet! Please help us spread the word to others who might be interested and stay tuned for more details coming soon!

Happy year of the dragon!
-Fernando.

PS We have a big XP boost in-game this weekend to celebrate our big announcement and the start of the year of the Dragon ! It should help those of us who have some characters to level and get ready to face the dangers we will face in the Underdark!

Enoach wrote on Feb 9^th, 2012 at 12:04pm:

^this.

In the same vein: None - that's not a known issue.

A:None.  Why would they change the lightbulb?  They like keeping everyone in the dark.

1 to change it.

3 to design a store item based on it.

1 more to code it, probably an intern.

6 mods to oversee complaint threads about pay2light.

400 forum users on the official boards to protest it. (50ish repeat users on the unofficial forums)

3 people to actually aquire and test the lightbulb and determine it to be op.

Then it'll get ignored for about 6 months as another patch rolls out.

Repeat ad nauseum.

The answer is of course 20.

One QA intern to put it on the "Super secret" bug list.

One Dev to code the new light bulb, and fix the socket, since they were fixing things anyway.

One QA to test it.

Five Devs to ignore "feedback" from the users of the light bulb telling them it is too bright now and shoots sparks randomly.

One Dev to "fix it" back to the pre-patched version, so it is dark again.

One QA to explain that it really is better this way.

Ten Mods to infract and ban anyone who complains too much about working in the dark.

God you guys are a bunch of fucking idiots.  Everyone knows that it does not matter how many Turbine employees want/need/desire to change that lightbulb because there is a 6 year old ladder bug that will prevent them from reaching the light fixture!

Jaxx wrote on Feb 9^th, 2012 at 2:11pm:

OMFG!    That is amazeballs, Jaxx!

It only takes 1, but since players start off with a candle the light bulbs are 2500 TPs each and are BTC.

Only one.  Changing a light bulb is much easier than modifying code in a vast game engine, and so there is not much analogue between the behavior displayed when doing these two very different tasks.

Geez, you guys are dumb.