Time to ask for group consensus - If you are in a raid, should you stay in Earth stance and just expect the tank to be good enough to keep aggro anyway or should you go to not-Earth stance even though you'll end up with less DPS in order to make sure that you don't grab aggro?

Feel free to assume that you are in the raids that you usually end up in - that means some people are going to assume shitty tanks and some people are going to assume awesome tanks.

Yes I would do the same on a wf monk.  Fuck the 25% insight healing amp, you are the fucking center of attention for the clerics.  If a WF barb can live without it, you can.

My WF barb dies a lot. I will have 200+ hp more than anyone else and I still will die first. I'm sitting at 97% healing amp or something.

If you are missing on low rolls, say on a 2 and a 3, then fire will add 11,7% DPS. This is more then 10% wind doublestrike and more than +1 crit multi from earth.

Unless you're twitching, the attack rolls should be iterative. +2 to-hit isn't going to increase your hits from 17/20 to 19/20, it'll increase them from 74/80 to 76/80 (since if you are missing on a 3 on the first roll, you'll be missing only on a 1 for the next 3). That's only a ~2.7% dps boost.

Unless I'm doing the math wrong, which is entirely possible.

Edit: And no, I don't know why you would be twitching on a monk. I've never played one, so I wouldn't.

I see. To get the higher to-hit from later attacks, do you have to get the first hit attack to stick?

    There is a -4 attack roll penalty while moving. It does not apply to rotating in place but it does apply to jumping straight up and down. The Spring Attack feat negates this penalty. This penalty is the other big reason new players have difficulty hitting things in DDO.

    Besides avoiding the -4 movement penalty, there is another benefit to standing still when you attack. If you continuously attack from one spot with no motion except rotation and jumps, you cycle through a sequence of two to four different attack animations depending on your Base Attack Bonus. What good is that? Well, if your cycle is three swings long, you get +5 to attack rolls every third swing, and if it's four swings long, you get +5 on the third swing and +10 on the fourth. While you're moving, your cycle never goes above two swings.

    Cycles are two swings long if your BAB is 0. You pick up a third at BAB +1 and a fourth at BAB +3. For pure-class characters, this means:

        Classes that are great at fighting (see the list above) get three swings at levels 1 & 2 and four swings at level 3+.
        Classes that are good at fighting get two swings at level 1, three swings at levels 2-3, and four swings at level 4+.
        Classes that are poor at fighting get two swings at level 1, three swings at levels 2-5, and four swings at level 6+.

Assuming the DDO Wiki is up to date, No - it is automatic as long as you are not moving along the x or yaxes.

Get better healers.  Better yet, get a good sorc.  My wf sorc has been used as the tank "healer" many a time.  ToD and lob not Elob - but on elite, so i do not know how well that would go.

City of Heroes, Champions, or DC?

In that case, don't roll wf melee.

With all things equal, fire wind and earth provide nearly identical dps.

For example, a monk with decent gear would average about 100 damage per swing  (50 base +25 effects +25 strikes/crits etc..) and would do 100% mainhand + 80% offhand damage per swing = 180 total.

Wind stance gives 10% more mainhand strikes for +110 mainhand + 80 offhand damage = 190/180 = 5.5% increased dps

Earth stance would give about 5 extra crit damage per hit on average (50 base damage * 2 crits / 20 swings) for 105 mainhand + 85 offhand = 190/180 = 5.5% increased dps

Fire stance would give about 2 damage from strength +3-4 damage per hit from extra ki strikes (200 ki per minute = 40 extra strikes @ approximately 15-20 average damage per strike) for roughly 5-6% increased dps.

The biggest factor is actually whether you miss or not. +2 to hit = 10% more dps, so in the most basic terms, if you hit on a 2+ in all 3 stances, then it really doesn't matter which one you use.   If you don't hit on a 2+ then use fire (or wind for finesse)

H-orc in wind stance is one of the best dps builds imo.  Reason? You will have the same str as all of those fire stance builds - but will be in windstance.