Make Bears Fast
Two things you need to know up front:

    You CAN NOT earn 1000 bears in a month or even six months by following the instructions found in this letter, or similar ones found on the net.
    You can earn 100 to 300 bears or more within a couple of months, with which you can open your own zoo, start a circus or populate your local forest.

These are the facts. This is my first time trying this, and I do not expect any miracles. I am very skeptical of any get bears fast schemes, and this one sure smells of it, but hey I need some bears. Our local forest has been devoid of bears for years. I blow more than the cost of capturing and shipping 5 wild bears every month on old whiskey, young women and fast cars ( and some I just waste ) so this is really no big loss if it doesn't pan out. The way I see it, IT IS WORTH TRYING, mostly because there is so little to lose. The total investment on my part (and yours) is the minor expense of capturing 5 wild bears (it doesn't cost that much if you do it yourself) and several fistfuls of postage stamps to mail each bear. So for a relatively minor expense I can earn the respect and admiration of the scores of bear lovers both near and far who will appreciate my repopulating the local forest with a passel of bears.

The key to this is that YOU WILL GET A RESPONSE, and just 15 responses puts you in serious black bears for the project. Others have tried this before and received usual numbers upwards of 125 bears for their efforts. I really don't believe 3000 bears is possible or for that matter even desirable as some claim, but I guess theoretically it could work that well. It depends on the naivete, greed and gullibility of the participants.
Here are the estimated figures:

Post the letter to five different (but well visited) and for damn sure off-topic newsgroups. Use your judgement as to which are highly frequented. In my estimations, some of the adult areas are particularly high volume. That's not saying much for society, but it is true. They'll love hearing about bears just as much as bear lovers love hearing about get rich quick scams.

Assume newsgroup is visited 50 times a day (1,500 times a month), which has to be a low estimate considering the critical mass type of growth the internet is experiencing.

In six months, maybe 7,500 people might read your message, of which all of them possessing two consecutively firing neurons dismiss the whole thing as worthless. That leaves 1,500 who might try it. They will send letters out just like yours.

Unfortunately 75% of these folks will not send you a bear but will instead just use your letter. (PLEASE BE HONEST -- YOU CAN MAKE MONEY THIS WAY! DO NOT STIFF THE PEOPLE WHO PRESENT YOU WITH THE OPPORTUNITY!) A teed off bear could find its way into your bedroom one night, courtesy of those you've stiffed.

If the remaining 25% return, that is already 375 bears shipped to you! Then each time the letter is re-used, for four additional levels, you also get a bear per use. If they get the same response as you, it adds up to 1500 or more bears, for a total return on your investment of 1875 bears !

The person who sent me this letter has received more than 3200 bears total in two attempts.
How can this all be accomplished legally?

If you follow these specific directions, the process is perfectly legal. (see title 18,h sections 1302 NS 1341 of the Wildlife Travel Club Laws). It is essentially a business for providing free travel services for low income bears. The beauty of this is that nearly all bears are low income since they have difficulty conforming to the rigid structure of a regular job.

Basically, you will start your own charitable organization devoted to expanding the horizons of underprivileged bears by providing them with educational travel opportunities. NOTE: You can sell tickets to see these bears to other gullible rubes and make even more money).

Step One - print this letter.

Step Two - Attach the letter to a crate (don't forget the air holes and a water bottle - this is crucial) and send it to each of the following people, with a note reading simply "Please accept the enclosed bear as a member in your bear travel club for underprivileged bears.", and containing your full name and mailing address, and importantly a live wild bear. (I can't think of anything that you can wrap the bear in, opaque paper is not gonna cut it, to conceal the fact that a live wild bear is in the envelope, sending live wild bears via US Mail is definitely risky at least to the mailman, but hey you're gonna be rich and that's worth some risk.)

1.      Travel Club for Underprivileged Bears / Smokey T. Bear
        10-12 Yearz Rd.
        MinSecurity, AL
        12345

2.      Travel Club for Underprivileged Bears / Smokey T. Bear
        10-12 Yearz Rd.
        MinSecurity, AL
        12345

3.      Travel Club for Underprivileged Bears / Smokey T. Bear
        10-12 Yearz Rd.
        MinSecurity, AL
        12345

4.      Travel Club for Underprivileged Bears / Smokey T. Bear
        10-12 Yearz Rd.
        MinSecurity, AL
        12345

5.      Travel Club for Underprivileged Bears / Smokey T. Bear
        10-12 Yearz Rd.
        MinSecurity, AL
        12345

Step Three - Edit this letter to read the way you want it to. (Did that!) Include some information about yourself. LIE THROUGH YOUR TEETH ! Make it interesting. Nobody wants to hear about your damn dull life. Add details of how your were on the brink of ruin. Everybody that has ever succeeded in life was on the brink of ruin just before they made it big. Personalize it somehow to help others understand that this program can actually work! When you get to the list of names of above, remove the top name (#1), move the others up. Then add your name to the bottom of the list (#5). In this way, you can earn bears from the investments of others after you, as you help those who came before.

Step Four - Spam your letter to as many off-topic Internet newsgroups or local BBS numbers as you wish. You can even annoy people by sending copies of it via snail-mail, buying space on billboard signs or producing your own infomercial. These methods are more considerate than posting it to an off-topic newsgroup. When you send it to people as junk mail they can just drop in the trash or shove it into a neighbors mailbox. When you post it to a newsgroup, people who use batch mode tools but haven't gone to the trouble of setting up killfiles for jackasses like you, get to pay for the connect time required to download articles in which they have less than zero interest. In addition by adding more noise to the usenet datastream and consuming network bandwidth and storage space you effectively contribute to the expense of maintaining the net while at the same time diminishing the enjoyment of nearly all of the news readers. Also give your postings a catchy title, like "YET ANOTHER PYRAMID SCAM - NOW WITH BEARS" or "FASTBEARS". Be sure to make the title all caps so that people will know that it's important.

Step Five - When the bears start coming in (and it may take two or three weeks, don't panic unless the people sent the bears in cheaply constructed crates because they were eager to get rich quick and the bears are damn hungry after not having been fed during the shipping process and you just had smoked salmon for lunch and the mailman dropped the crate on your porch hard enough to break it open because he was damn eager to get that bear off his hands and into yours, then panic. But don't give up. Unless you're not fleet of foot enough to outrun the bear and almost nobody is even though you do get a big adrenaline rush when you see a bear coming after you, then give up and pretend you're dead and maybe the bear will just severely maul you instead of killing you but don't worry you can afford the medical expenses because you're gonna get rich quick off all the bears you're gonna be receiving via US Mail and some of them might even be shipped in sturdy crates), save all the letters you receive in a box or closet somewhere. Store the names and addresses on your computer, if you wish, to make you underprivileged bear travel club records easier to handle, but always KEEP THE ORIGINAL LETTERS. This way, you will have proof that your business is legal and legitimate, in case you are ever asked. "Hey boy! Was you runnin' a bonafide underprivileged bear travel agency or was this just some scam so as folks'd be sending you bears?" "No sir officer, this is a genuine underprivileged bear travel club and I've got THE ORIGINAL LETTERS to prove it. Never you mind that all these letters sound almost exactly word for word the same."

Step Six - Use the bears you receive as you wish. Start a zoo, start a circus, repopulate a forest. You have earned it. If you need more, then try try again. Just do not forget to send the live wild bear to each of the people on your list! They are just like you, and nobody makes anything if this letter regenerates without bears changing hands.

That is all. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you decide to give it a try, and I hope it gives you the same results I have heard others having. Most of all, I hope I can add you to my travel club for underprivileged bears, and someday perhaps I will have my name added to yours.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

P.S. Here are some testimonials from folks you have tried this program or other similar ones.

"About six months ago I received the enclosed post in letter form and I ignored it. I received about five more of the same letter within the next two weeks. I ignored them also. Of course, I was tempted to follow through and dreamed of making thousands, but I was convinced it was just another gimmick and could not possibly work. I was wrong! About three weeks later I saw this same letter posted on a local bulletin board in Montreal. I liked the idea of giving it a try with my computer. I didn't expect much because I figured, if other people were as skeptical as I, they would not be too quick to part with their hard earned cash. But I BUY LOTTERY TICKETS IN MY PROVINCE AND HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT BUT TICKET STUBS! OTHER PEOPLE BUY LOTTERY TICKETS. I realized there are a lot of people in this world who do not grasp simple arithmetic and don't realize that they are more likely to be struck by lightning than to win the lottery. This week I decided to look at this as my weekly lottery purchase because it's just about as stupid maybe even more so. I ventured into the frosty Canadian woods and at great personal peril I captured 5 live wild bears and ruined several good pairs of underwear. I addressed the envelopes, attached them to the shoddily constructed crates and shipped the bears to each of the travel club directors (wink wink) as directed. Two weeks went by and I didn't receive anything in the mail. The fourth week rolled around and I couldn't believe what happened! I can not say that I received 50,000 bears, but it was definitely well over 35,000! For the first time in 10 years I got the hell out of town. It was disastrous. First one bear broke loose, then it smashed the crate of an adjacent bear who followed suit setting off a huge chain reaction of bear breakouts until my neighborhood was teeming with great swarms of cranky, hungry bears. I'm currently making the rounds on the tabloid talk show circuit and raking in serious bucks by repeatedly retelling my story of how my bear scam, errr bear travel club, inadvertently resulted in an orgy of ursine mayhem that destroyed a small community. Of course it did not take me long to go through my earnings, so I am using this excellent bear opportunity once again. FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS AND GET READY TO ENJOY! Please send a copy of this letter so we can convince people who are skeptical that this really does work!"

                                        Good Luck
                                        Smokey T. Bear
                                        spammer@offtopic.com

LOL @ my solution, though

This is not what you released. You mentioned a card exploit (that we all already knew by the time you released it like a week or two into cards) that did not involve the bank closing when you open the cruncher. It also didn't involve using the cards from the bag.

I feel as though his "Title" is un-earned..