Next time you lose your phone charger, don't buy another one. Go to a hotel and say you think you lost it there. It's the #1 most left behind item at hotels, so most places have a big bin filled with every phone charger imaginable.

Always poo at work; 1) you get paid for doing it. 2) you get to use company resources.

If you get good service, tell a supervisor.

Petco is a free zoo.

When you wake up in the middle of the night to do something, cover one eye with your hand and leave it there until you return to darkness. The eye that was covered will have retained its ability to see well in the dark so you will not run into the dresser on your way back to bed.

An old man once told me to never follow anyone's advice and figure shit out by myself. . . I wasn't sure what to do.