FranOhmsford wrote on Jan 29
th, 2018 at 12:53pm:
If I could KEEP a job it might be worth me getting one but as I have severe depression and can't control my temper that is not gonna happen.
The more you tell us about you, the more you seem to be describing someone in crisis.
People usually react by giving whatever advice they imagine would work for them if they were in your situation. Then they're done trying, because that's their luxury. They're not in your situation, and they can "fix" your problem by ignoring you. It hurts most when the people closest to you stop trying.
Sorry. Sometimes you get shit luck, and those you need most to be able to help you, are themselves in over their heads. Other times the shit luck is due to the nature of the challenge. No one can help you find motivation or meaning, if you're depressed. The best they can do is accept it as the truth. It's a sucky truth, but the truth nonetheless.
(Also, fake smiles. Seriously. Those muscles are hard-wired into the emotions. We say "fake", but there's a real effect. It isn't huge, but it's something. Additionally, there's growing evidence that sticking to a regular sleep schedule makes emotion regulation easier. I know, waking up isn't exactly easy. But if you can do it, it will reward you with fewer roller-coaster temper rides.)
The Vault will gladly help you in pointing out how sucky your truth is. For acceptance ... well, that's one of those no-one-can-help things. If you get a dog, maybe eventually you'll come to believe the dog. Still, acceptance is on you. No matter who or where you look to get it from, they can't give it if you don't have any to receive it with. That's a Catch-22. It's basically impossible. Almost like Life itself is saying "Fuck You".
But there is, finally, the absolute perfect place for anger. Fuck You right back, Life. If life is shitting on you, it's right to feel mad. You deserve that anger. You are worth it.
And now, The Vault can help again. Just look at all the people who find you worth getting angry over.