Several years ago, me and a friend decided to watch some forgettable movie. Late showing, because we're both day sleepers. We go into the theater and it's completely empty, save for this one dude. A couple minutes after we sit down, he says something. We don't quite hear it, because he says it exactly the way you would if you kinda sorta believed no one would ever actually talk to you. Half mumble, half general announcement to the room. 100% not looking at us, but 100% please please oh please somebody talk to me.
You know, like maybe he'd flipped a coin and it was heads: go see a movie, tails: kill himself.
I don't remember what he said, either. But my friend is a softie. She takes one look at him and her heart breaks. After that one second of eye contact, he's out of his seat and shuffling to us, now talking up a storm. But still wounded-dog. He sits a row ahead of us and two or three seats over. Like it's just obvious that's as close as anyone would ever want him to get.
This all goes on before the previews, and once they start he shuts up. Which I was thankful for, cuz it really seemed like it could've gone the other way. I don't know how we got on the subject, but my friend was talking about how that guy who played the heel in Thelma & Louise apparently still gets women who recognize him at stoplights, and then give him the finger.
I remember this clearly, because that's when this lonely dude asks us "You know who would have been perfect as Hannibal Lecter?" Silent beat as my friend and I look at each other and shrug.
"Sean Connery".
...
Ever since then, I haven't been able to think of Silence of the Lambs without also hearing, in Sean Connery's distinctive Scottish brogue, "Tell me Clarish, do the lambs shtill shcream at night?"
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