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Normal Topic Valentines is for Looooooovers (Read 3469 times)
The Grandest of Fellows
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Valentines is for Looooooovers
Feb 10th, 2021 at 10:32pm
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What do you love? Boxes, books, trunks, trinkets, tokens?  Cheesy

Some lucky lovers who merely speak their deepest desires here may find themselves, blessed fellows!

Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy



(I can neither confirm, nor deny, that posting those desires in particularly saucy, nasty ways may increase chances... think of it as a elixir of naughtiness that boost exploit pulls lolololololol)
  

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Shinyshoes
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #1 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 12:02am
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A list of ladders free of the ladder bug.
  
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Artorias
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #2 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 12:05am
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I want a a train of boxes pulled by a sleet of devs going doggy while being whipped with a spiked by Dita Von Teese telling them that "it's not a dildo, it's a feature", the soundtrack would have to be provided by the slipknot singing " we are number one".

If that is not an option i can get by with hot chicks beating the devs with all sorts of toys. It would totally increase my respect....for the chicks  Roll Eyes
  
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KlownKar
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #3 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 6:41am
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NOTpopejubal
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #4 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 7:13am
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KlownKar wrote on Feb 11th, 2021 at 6:41am:


https://recipes.timesofindia.com/us/recipes/macaroni/rs58761198.cms

WARNING: The linked site above contains both a picture of macaroni AND a macaroni recipe. You have been warned.
  
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Athanor
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #5 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 10:22am
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I would love to see the SSG team members that think that nerfs are a great idea to live a particularly nasty scene from the Pulp Fiction movie...and isn't the dancing one! I wish to gimp SSG!  Grin
  

We need more guillotine's revolutions!!!
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TeamScorpioRI
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #6 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 10:29am
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I love boxes.. all types of boxes (Giggity implied)
  
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Charon
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #7 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 10:45am
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Athanor wrote on Feb 11th, 2021 at 10:22am:
I would love to see the SSG team members that think that nerfs are a great idea to live a particularly nasty scene from the Pulp Fiction movie...and isn't the dancing one! I wish to gimp SSG!  Grin

Kinky.  Not SSG,  just that you want to do that to Jerry.
  
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GimpyPaw
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #8 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 10:59am
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If we are making Valentine Day wishes, here's mine -- I would like to see Fat Jerry fired, so his miserable fat sloppy ass can live under a bridge proper like the troll he is.

But alas, I know that will never happen.  There's an old proverb that explains why Cordovian has job security:

"It's very hard to tell some one they are fired when your dick is in their mouth."
  
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Rincewind
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #9 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 12:10pm
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I desire a raid and raid items that dont sux :S
  
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Shadehater
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #10 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 12:41pm
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Charon
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #11 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 1:00pm
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GimpyPaw wrote on Feb 11th, 2021 at 10:59am:
If we are making Valentine Day wishes, here's mine -- I would like to see Fat Jerry fired, so his miserable fat sloppy ass can live under a bridge proper like the troll he is.

But alas, I know that will never happen.  There's an old proverb that explains why Cordovian has job security:

"It's very hard to tell some one they are fired when your dick is in their mouth."


It's common knowledge that Jerry would not live under a bridge directly.  He would live in a van down by the river.  This may or may not be under a bridge.
  
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The Grandest of Fellows
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #12 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 1:16pm
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If you think the stuff above is kinky you should read the PMs!!!!!  Grin Grin Grin

Shadehooter, unknowingly clicking that video link gave me a tweaked reflexive Roxbury repeated action injury dammit!!!  but it was a nice trip down memory lane so I shall give you a token of my esteem, or should I say tokens? cause I have about 3k of em on Khyber I'm going to hook you up with!  Cheesy   Sadly they are mostly Greater tokens of my esteem, but I'm sure you will work something out!
  

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Shadehater
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #13 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 2:53pm
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I’m sure there is some exchange rate somewhere. 
Shadehooter out!
  
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cheap beer for days
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #14 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 6:08pm
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Oh great and omnipotent Grand, we your followers require nothing but your Love and guidance.  But yeah, happy Valentine's Day to all the keyboard porn jerking off ddo players out there.  I may just rub one out in my ex wifes honor.
  
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The Grandest of Fellows
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #15 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 6:43pm
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Pics or it didn't happen!
  

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noamineo
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #16 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 7:08pm
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My love for Grand is unrequited...
  

I'll never understand the propensity of people to brag about being good at a video game. Its a toy you play with for fun. The only person who should be proud of you is your mother. If you're 3.
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The Grandest of Fellows
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #17 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 8:44pm
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No, no, Grand has love for all... sweet, passionate, sticky, all kinds of love!

And this weekend will be extra special as we give out hearts to our sweethearts! True, blood, epic, even a few Iconic valentines will be handed out




(Extra points for anyone starts their post or PM with a variation on the classic Penthouse letters style: 'I never thought it would happen to me but...'   Grin Grin Grin Grin)
  

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GimpyPaw
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #18 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 10:04pm
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"Dear Vaulthouse,

I'm a normal guy, and nothing out of the ordinary ever happens to me.  Then one day, while I was just hanging out in the marketplace, this smoking hot dwarf comes up and just POP, opens a trade window! 

At first I was taken back. I mean, I didn't do anything to attract this dwarf's attention, and I'm warry of what the dwarf might soon ask for.  Plus, it's a dwarf, so I'm not even sure if it's a male or female,. Most dwarves can't tell the difference so how is an average Helf like me supposed to know?

Much to my surprise, suddenly there's this box in the trade window, and the dwarf has already hit "accept".  All I have to do is click on my end and the contents of the box are mine with no strings attached.  I'm still thinking, "Hang on, this is too good to be true.  There's got to be something attached."  Greed and curiosity did eventually get the best of me, and with a wavering hand, I hit the Accept button.

Anxiously I opened the box to check the contents.  What could be in there?  Why was the dwarf giving it to me?  Was the dwarf a he or she?

That's when I learned that N-O-T-H-I-N-G is free, and the DEFINATELY was something attached!  This dwarf was a dude, and ...






He
Put
His
Dick
In
a
Box!"
  
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noamineo
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #19 - Feb 11th, 2021 at 10:31pm
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Dear Vaulthouse,

I never thought it could happen to me. But one day i got out my Staff of Fleshaping. It was long and hard, so i wrapped my Gloves around it and set out. I thought I was going to be soloing The Friar's Niece that night, but then she showed me her Brass Beaver. Boy was my alacrity quivering. I pulled Head of Good Fortune that day, no question. She put an Epic Black lace Blindfold on me, and then we really quickened that spell. Things intensified and then i really Epic Reincarnated. I'm back to 20 now, but it was worth it.

Boy I sure hope all those URL tags worked.
  

I'll never understand the propensity of people to brag about being good at a video game. Its a toy you play with for fun. The only person who should be proud of you is your mother. If you're 3.
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The Grandest of Fellows
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #20 - Feb 12th, 2021 at 12:31am
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Hopeful Valentines should make sure to PM their specific requests and which server they are on by Friday night. Potential sweethearts should also keep in mind that some items can only be moved once, so for them you will have to use the account you intend to use them on while others can be handed over to spare account toons in-game.


  

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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #21 - Feb 12th, 2021 at 3:38am
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I never thought it would happen to me. I'd been adventuring and slaying monsters for nearly two decades and I'd figured love was just something other people got.

I've had flings, sure. Maybe even a little romance. There isn't an adventurer around who hasn't gone on a quest and ended up banging or being banged by a dragon, right?

It started just like any other quest. Go to Tharashk Arena. Smack around some baddies. Grab an axe. No problem, I got this. Or so I thought.

I went in there, killing everything that got in my path until I got near the Arena. I had to be careful, or I'd be overwhelmed by the spectators and guards.

And that's when I saw him. This beautiful, majestic creature. Such power! Such virility! I'd never been so hot under my platemail in my life!

He turned and saw me - we both froze. It was instant chemistry. I'll never forget the words he uttered then. "Wut ur name?" 

I don't know why I replied. This was the enemy! "Sillyfish..... what's yours?"

He blinked. "Me Grogan the Promoter."

An eternity passed as we stared into each others eyes, or at least it felt like it. It couldn't have been more than a heartbeat.

Within seconds we were all over each other, rolling around on the floor in a passionate embrace. Needless to say I never did claim that quest reward.

Now with Valentines day fast approaching, I need to get him the perfect gift. He wants to reincarnate into something else, as he's tired of "being smelly hobgoblin", so I'm looking at Hearts of wood and Otto's boxes and the like to see what would suit him.

Anyway, I hope my story of romance found reaches out and touches some of you. Never give up. You don't know when love might be just around the next dungeon corner."

Here's my contribution.
  
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Flav
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #22 - Feb 12th, 2021 at 2:21pm
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At least now it's easy to locate all the socks. they are all Grand  Grin
  

Yes my avatar is an Hermine eating a Greenland Lemming for brunch.
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noamineo
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #23 - Feb 12th, 2021 at 2:23pm
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Flav wrote on Feb 12th, 2021 at 2:21pm:
At least now it's easy to locate all the socks. they are all Grand  Grin


I maintain that you aren't really a vaultie until you've been accused of being a Grand sock.
  

I'll never understand the propensity of people to brag about being good at a video game. Its a toy you play with for fun. The only person who should be proud of you is your mother. If you're 3.
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The Grandest of Fellows
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Re: Valentines is for Looooooovers
Reply #24 - Feb 12th, 2021 at 11:55pm
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Thanks to all those who PM'd requests, some of you have truly filthy minds!!!! We will be getting out the ever popular boxes, in demad +20 hearts (fucking SSG lolololol), Coms, Tokens and Greater Tokens to those of you who made the effort this weekend. Make sure to check PM's for meetup arrangements as schedules can change by an hour or two.   
  

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